A capricious record[ eight[ original ]

The dark wounds of the years are always hidden deep in the heart. Sometimes, they are really hard to detect. Only when you dig deep into your memory in extreme silence can you see a thing or two and know the sad past it contains.. Perhaps everyone in the world has hidden one or several hidden wounds in his heart, but he doesn’t want to show them easily, even himself, or is an unspeakable pain.. All we can do is to escape for a while in order to keep ourselves safe and secure and to tie up our bodies and minds..     The years I can remember are fifteen or six spring and autumn, but this is a painful memory that I can’t forget that permeates with blood smell in the air. How much love and hate and how much blood and tears are carried in this memory, besides those who have already left the world and experienced hardships but still exist in the present, I’m afraid only a few careful people can count the past after tea and meal and recall the sad past with helpless emotions.. As a witness to this long life of joy and sorrow, I also play a part in their life, so no matter how humble my status as a whole can be ignored and forgotten.. So, in my weak crown age, I was quietly on my way with a state of mind that could not be ignored, intending to silently pour out this sad memory of the past.     I haven’t tried to dig my memory from the depths before. There are probably many reasons for this. Many times I think I belong to the kind of person whose heart is not firm, and the words like this that constantly belittle my ability always appear in my mind when my heart is dispirited and my body and mind are exhausted. The appearance of it does make my whole person look unreal. Sometimes I really want to lower myself into the dust, and I’d better not see the light forever. Otherwise, I don’t know who will stab me again, and I won’t be able to ease my mind for a while.. However, people all understand that everything has its unknown dual nature, which generally does not appear in front of people at the same time. Its unique magic sexual intercourse pays human beings like the chronic nature of time. It always breaks out inadvertently on your way forward, leaving people unable to cope at once.. However, behind such things, it calls for the simple truth of the world with the dribs and drabs of things that happen in our lives. While we are still in our mood, we may look like eating chili peppers when we slowly salvage the fallen leaves engraved with intangible memories from the heart lake for study..     As for how I understand my own life, to be honest, I don’t know much about it. When I read a favorite book carefully, I think I have a sense of existence. At that moment, I thought time was like going back in time, so that I, a lowly fallen laggard, could taste the fruits of other people’s lives, which are thousands of different from my way of life.. In such a mixed reality and romantic life, I began to give birth to some of my own ideas for no reason – writing about my life world. I think that reading other people’s books is to increase self-restraint in life, improve one’s moral quality and increase one’s aesthetic standards.. The difference between writing one’s own book and writing one’s own is great. It contains all sorts of unknown requirements for one’s own, and not everyone can write works that make everyone nod when they bring up a pen. People like Lu Xun, Ba Jin and Yu Qiuyu have all been baptized with much ink before they have developed their skills that are now praised by the world.. So I like to look up at the sky alone all day staring blankly at different numbers, fantasizing about writing an amazing article, and only feeding myself with ink and words all the time..     The fireworks in memory are sometimes gorgeous because they are different and unique. Some people say that fireworks are cold and mournful, because they only bloom in the night. Others say that fireworks are beautiful women in the world because they can awaken people’s hearts of compassion and love for all dust..     In the fifteen or six bloody years I have experienced, I have also watched its beautiful or mournful appearance in the starry night sky, but in my memory world, fireworks are high and cold, making me elusive and full of mysterious things.. My attitude towards it is like Zhou Dunyi’s praise of lotus flowers – only a distant view is not to be mocked. Therefore, such alienation has given me a quiet and quiet life personality, more part of which can also be said to be cowardice that I have no courage to face with strong forces.. I can’t completely deny that I belittle people’s words, because when my dear people are oppressed by blood, I am helpless and do not take necessary actions to protect others with my own strength.. This has to be said that my character is not as good as expected.     The gorgeous peach blossom in the world always blooms in the warm and pleasant spring with all its strength, while the peach blossom in the high and cold sunshine in winter seems to lack some warm temperament, making people feel lonely and cold, just like some old photos hidden in a drawer or paper box far away from people suddenly found, suddenly pouring a pot of cold water on people’s originally dead heart, which has frozen the whole body completely..     And this peach blossom of mine not only blooms in winter, but also is stained with the color of blood and has been accompanying me for fifteen or six unforgettable years.. Now, while I appreciate peach blossoms, I only sigh with the ruthlessness of the years..