Day: May 11, 2019

back to the start

Part One: Back to trace the origin of life is always very strange, like a circle, like, find a starting point, and then after a period of winding tracks, in turn back to square one, as if it is the only truly successful.- Inscription I do not like writing with other people, for example, do not like to other people, for example in terms of On the Road, I always believed that there is a world I belong to my all, I have to cherish, so each time for the text, I always like to use their minds, to speak with examples around them.Perhaps the very ordinary, even boring, but very real.  I was born in a remote mountain village, parents are farmers, I have a sister and brother of the above.Mother is the team captain, her years, from dawn to dusk every day to lead all villagers collective labor.So, for many years so that when they retire, in addition to a plot sick, but nothing accumulated.Father grew up an orphan, giving the sheep to cattle for a living, adult inserted down the door “married” to my mother, in a very patriarchal feudal era, this is not a matter of pride.In addition to my mother, father created several lives, but seems to have nothing left, and they do not rush into another world.  From the parents’ life path see, life does not seem to make much sense.So much life, death is also much better than this.Everything but from the beginning to the end, and so on back to the time, that is the end of the first origin.  Sister is a clever and good people, but very upright, somewhat like a man.When reading achievement has been the first, also a teacher in the eyes of the “Reds”.However, those days, teachers are parallel age, my sister no matter how smart, hard-working, the small village it is impossible to get out of a college student.The fate of her sister only to maintain the original in that village, and days of fighting and ground fighting.Later, my sister finally there is some fighting tricks, made national cadres, but to fight anti-bureaucratic those people on.Later, a loving sister to age quickly into the love of.Ironically, people who want to love can not love, not love every day to find the door.Wait until after my sister married, only to find the truth of the phrase folk – men fear the wrong, women are afraid to marry the wrong husband.  But my sister is a very unyielding, although marriage is not their own satisfaction, but she has been working for himself and the happiness of the family, struggle, forbear, dedication.Not as helpless man you were thinking, in addition to eating and drinking on her outside, as if nothing will do, in addition to Xiaodujichang, if nothing do not mind.So, my sister unfortunately.Today, her children are grown, as if everything is recognition of the life, love and marriage, romantic poetry, I think she is not really in this life have been.  From the emotional trajectory sister’s point of view, life did not seem to make much sense.So much love, but hate so.But everything from the beginning to the end, and so looking back, that is the end of the initial origin.  Brother, but a mind of very smart people, reading would not have said.The team took just thirteen or fourteen tractors bloom gallop, fifteen-year-old opened the car, seventeen-year-old opened the car, even after the age of twenty opened train.And all this, he is not a teacher, are self-taught, if born is expected to drive, what kind of car as long as he sit up, that car will obey.Later, we all think he wants to fly a plane or a tank and the like when the motorcycle he was home.  He is very young to have a lot of wealth, home to marry a woman many, he often took the woman out to splurge, truck, in addition to not go abroad door, seems to have traveled.Later, however, a car accident one, his liver was broken two-thirds of the emergency room for several weeks, life be saved, however, money is already an empty, old women also smoke pins scattered clouds.Today, riding a motorcycle, playing a small club card, Nishimura fighting Landlords, as if time had passed every day.  From the fate of the track brother’s point of view, life did not seem to make much sense.So much for life, but so transport.But everything from the beginning to the end, and so in retrospect, but the end is still the original origin.  Parents watched, Gejie, look at yourself, it seems so can not escape.The first reading the small mountain village into the big city is me aged 24, he made a director of the school’s three-year-old to do the principals, all the way Albatron, also described as bright.But in the end, all this is superficial, I put the Secretary of the table a film, he ended his political career, what ambitions it a shot and empty, although I do not regret it, but the cause of life seems so hurry knot, it is inevitable as people marvel.  From my point of view the trajectory of struggle, life did not seem to make much sense.There are much better than this, but not so.But everything from the beginning to the end, looking back it seems, that the end of the final but still original origin.  However, this is the origin, we do not need sad, although we can not afford to struggle with the fate, then we always have from the beginning back to the origin of the process that has always unusual experience, extraordinary memory.At least I walked through the calendar, I will not regret it.  Think about this, even if all everything back to square one, I think it is very fulfilling, but also of great value.    Part II: Back to square one I like the college entrance examination and no such person marriage, never thought to care about the college entrance examination.This year I was bored, the composition proposition Guangdong “back to square one” became interested in.Of course, due to the limited level, dare like literati like rhetorical exercise, but at the right time is also in line with the traditional suit.In Voices noise wow, I have to squeeze busy busy, I do not know if my back to the origin of zero can break it?Haha!  With the imperial examination since, scholars have never slept had a good sleep, bided who do not want in one fell swoop, the fear is back to square one.The wheel of history turned into the entrance of the “horse of God” test, but do students still physically and mentally exhausted, desperately rushed forward Zaikuzailei.Want to squeeze into the dream of the Holy Land (University), the best of the Holy Land is the cradle of Tsinghua University officials called the North, but also heaven or rich, as long as the chance to squeeze in Gaoguanhoulu family line is greatly increased.Who wants to back to square one.Of course squeezed into the Holy Land does not necessarily become a saint, look at that family medicine Xin, he is lucky to squeeze tens of thousands of students in a sanctuary, which unfortunately was unable to save his holy moral fall, helpless young life had time to look at this world is back to square one.  What is the origin?This is a problem because people answer it, everyone has their own answers.Perhaps the moment is the origin of human life left in certain memories, but also in the red or the athletes start to the end of.Origin before the formation of the Earth is the point of dust.Things in the world has its origin; all from the origin to the end.People also do so, for us the origin is the starting point to the end point.It is looking back but we can not reach the sheltered bay.  Today, the face of various interests scramble environment, at any time eating terrible food, breathe the air unfit for human survival, my soul feel tired.Where is my place to rest weary souls, I look back to square one, back to allow the soul to rest “cave”.Let the soul weary of a good rest, and then hit the road.Part III: we are back to square one she was gone, everything back to square one.  She wants to come back to hear the news, I was so excited a few did not sleep at night, I pull out photo albums and diaries, carefully pondering over every line and every picture, as if this is a projector, and I will be proactive in her story eyes, scene after scene, played slowly, back into the memories, huh, huh, I always like to giggle, I remember the first time I saw her, not in a romantic spring afternoon, nor is fluttering in the autumn season ten Youth-year-old, always I give the impression that a lot of memories, although sour, but real, real to you will never forget, do not want to forget, because this is the growing signs of a footprint of a parabola, the parabola top, ignorant youth I met her on a third-year junior high school, in an afternoon, and is a formulaic story one day, he hurried out of the classroom, he was a little faster, because the cafeteria at noon the day of the most crowded time, although the bridge of the nose and did not put up a pair of glasses, but he could see up to 10M, hard ahead of him, and his classmates, straining to run the canteen, like a pack of hungry wolves.At the time, the place he distance of 10 meters and 1, dressed in jeans, a pair of red slippers heroine appeared, she bowed, walked slowly, it seems that the hands of what is still playing, the poor actor has not had time to look he went quickly to hit the girl, he has been unable to control himself, formulaic acquaintance.A coincidence, or fate?  It is said that everyone is like a straight line, missed, it is always a parallel line, you go to you, I had my, you do not know me, I do not know you.Affinity, that is, two intersecting lines, intersection, you changed me, I imperceptibly when he took her to the hospital you are already in the afternoon, but fortunately she was not badly hurt, but leg fracture, hospital a few days on well, the hard part is, he who will take care of it?Her parents went to work outside the home only elderly grandparents, she has a younger sister and brother, in elementary school, then who will take care of him?Does she still want to harm her hospitalized for observation of a strange, rude, dark and thin boy to take care of it yourself?  He was stricken, had been sitting in a chair in the hospital corridor, head down, do not say anything, he put his month living expenses to pay the hospital, but he still did not feel at ease, he is very anxious, seeing in the exam is approaching, time left little, he wanted to go back to homework, but the nurse told him she did not come home, want to let him take care of her for some time, the hospital to contact her family.  He’d love to stay but he can not face her, he was afraid she scolded him, blame him, though he knew he must bear love, but he still have the courage, because he does not know what is male and what but the responsibility, I should go apologize to her right, after all, their right!I can go in the say what?I do not know her, in case the wrong thing, I will not make her more uncomfortable ah?Hey, why this novel’s story is truly happened to my body?  Helpless, he went in hard head with the skin, into the room, the girl lying on the bed, his left leg in plaster hanging very high, although quiet, but she could see his face was sore.  ”I’m sorry, I was wrong, I was reckless, it was my fault, hurt you hurt like this, I’m really sorry, please do not be angry!You fight to criticize, please wait for you after a good hurt, I will not move!”His head down, loud enough, I do not know if she could hear, Kuihen, does not help the girl sobbing, crying, tears falling drop by drop pillow,” what’s the use curse you, hit you what is the use, I have a good walk, my bother anyone?I have any hatred with you, you do this to me ah?I do not know you!”He took care of her in three days, she and he did not say a word, he’d been saying I’m sorry, girls do not cry any more, but has been in sleep, she simply ignored her, he was from a nurse at know, this girl named Yefang.    Part Four: Back to square Little Dragon Maiden first met in Zhongnanshan, the body in the tomb of the living dead, subsequent lines riding arena and skelter, eventually experienced a number of catastrophe, many life and death, but returned to the tomb together.  Zhang Wuji and Zhao war in Wudang Mountain, when two friends when the enemy, fighting each other but love each other, love and finally end dependents, country and give up wealth, wandering together.  郭靖与黄蓉 opener world beat, travels to the Central Plains, searching through Mongolia, inverse Click here to see the war West poison, South Royal respect, thanks to North beggar, Huashan Mountain, after all together against the common enemy, guarding Xiangyang.  This world, there are too many people and things, although experienced ups and downs, though full of thorns, although starred in scenes touching story, though all the pain only they know.But, ultimately, still we see the dawn of victory.  Come together to accomplish the objectives, is how many people desire, but not impossible, but also how many people in the middle of taking the number of detours, dead long before the pace, and repeatedly back too many times!  See a perfect ending, while we bless, is not it also found that they have matured a lot?  After all, the story may be the story, all this superficial, unreal elegance, has counted on what it!  We can change their minds, we can shake the will of the hero, we are free to change the end of the story.We can never let Shen Diaoxia take care of Guo struggling to find his sister, we can let the leader Zhang Zhou girl with the perfect through life, we can make Guotai Xia treat all my life alone.  But we have to admit, the reality is cruel.  Hidden sunrise month, alternating day and night, but also what is not looking forward to but reluctant; illness and death, heaven and earth cycle, not what we can not control the road?Blossom, East to spring, and what is not back to square one?  If you often encounter a crossroads when we stop turn left, turn left, and that if we do not have the slightest progress, and eventually back to square one.  Not back to square one to start again, but the other continued a painful journey.  Every night, always thinking of familiar and unfamiliar faces, looking forward to again shine Emmanuel heartbeat, waiting starry roots, not looking at one another a happy ending.  Every day, always in a hurry shuttle crowd, rushing forward again with a better opportunity, a moment again and again and fallen man, busy again and moving plot, all pass.  When the time is not the shuttle, when space is not spinning, not when the flowers wither, when the night is not coming, whether we should be good to sit down and listen to the quiet world, still feeling the breath.Good thinking, meditation, whether we have love, whether some regret, if still a little overwhelmed?The road ahead is long and distant, mysterious and full of choices, think, consider, we are not in whether or not a memory, if not in the back of the pass, if missed this time will continue to miss time at?  We can not let myself go a long route should go?Can not to re back to square one?  Maybe, these are just a dream, wake up in time, I suddenly realized that he eventually back to square one.  First started origin, not a starting point, not the life, not the first time the opening of the story, we start from the beginning, but returned to the place.After our efforts, but returned to the place.It is the place when we looked at the flowers and trees vitality, but wither and defeated.  Be back to square one, start again, forward again, raised the sail when the sail back again, will find that this is the most real and most profusely, most exciting and most spectacular.  Back to square one is not terrible, terrible is, since then life is not perfect, the sun is not bright.Its sighs and hated himself again and again marking time, it would be better on the road again to ponder what had gone through, once again feel the outlook over the landscape, you will find that this is a pleasure, a warm.In re the alter ego, self-improvement, better ourselves.  Back to square one, just start again, such a requirement is not too high.    Part five: back to the start point of origin of the dream of the blue sky, warm sun shed streaks.The tree, and occasionally several more minor birds singing, for fear that disturbed this quiet campus.  This is just an ordinary school, but it is the dream of starting point.Once, at the origin, her own dreams of luggage, starting with a dash of enthusiasm struggle.Regardless of wind and rain, splashing mud along the way regardless of whether the bags dirty, just blindly forward, only to chase the dream of footprints.  When the time is long road trip, climbed over the past years when the chapter, and the confiscation of yesterday, that this heavy album, memories of the past harvest.Looking back, the road has been further and further away, the time the storm led to food.Along the way, how much wind and rain, the memories of cooling, how many tears, the heartache wet.  Is it just rarely ever look up at the patch of sky is still blue blooming dream.But, initially a persistent dream that has slowly but light.  Wanted to return home, ignited enthusiasm share of chasing the dream, the initial touch that most truly delighted.  Perhaps, but unfortunately the reality of the dream broken, crumbled into one place, a dream that enthusiasm also arrived, but like water flushing time.Perhaps, that piece of the dream had not so blue sky, infected with a little haze.Perhaps the time past yellowed, share thoughts on the memories are slowly shortening.  Put aside the reality of glitz, back to square one, looking for that dream a blue sky, with water carrying joy, pick up a few fallen leaves, put together the most realistic dreams.  That dream of starting point, how many people have been looking forward to carrying Sentimental.Remember, we Yao Zhi blue sky, outlines a better future, remember, we said that in spite of any storm, just to keep up with the dream of footprint.Nightlife net back to square one, and now, leaving the empty campus quiet, who gave the melancholy, lay down that a hot pursuit of the written memories of past.  The story should have deviated from the original track, it should be good memories, memories rendered into mourning.Unstoppable is fleeting, unforgettable memories.  Perhaps blindly forward, forget the scenery along the way there, perhaps has been chasing tomorrow, forget yesterday has become increasingly distant, perhaps seeking only the distance, forget the dream filled with pure origin.  Back to square one, put away the complicated mess of thoughts, the guardian of this piece of blue sky dream.  Back to square one, listen to the melody memories, brought back memories of that section after section.  Back to square one, with a dedication, with a stick, weaving original dream.  Back to square one, the same blue sky, the same summer, as Sentimental Dream.Part VI: back to the origin of flowers in late spring, start sprouted from the earth, breaking the fetters of life, proudly standing in the branches, but life can not tolerate it forever!Spring flowers do, it will only be back to square one!Winter snow began to billow from the clouds, swim the loss of years of confusion, covered with desolate world, but the years of resistance, it may not be long!Chungui snow, it will only be back to square one!  But, back to square one, so what?Back to square one, people will forget it, get rid of it?As long as had been brilliant; fought in the process; leaving their footprints in history, their soul and spirit; that is back to square one, how can have regrets?How can sigh?  Remember the struggle of the half, back to the origin of Xiang Yu!  Once, the Wujiang setting sun on the fluttering wind, executive sharp Phi firm, calm calmly writing a bloody epic Kangqin!Chuhan once, Naruto overlap, hope the river east passed away, the two cities confront, open heroic struggle staged some deluded!However, through the Quartet sky, he stepped on the bloody river, history, or that he was leaving no Koto hero!Half of his military arms, half vendetta old hate, back to square one!Perhaps he really is a failure!But you can say, Xiang Yu did not write a glorious history, there is no miracle in the history of writing?But you can say that the origin of the destruction of all his feats Feng Gong, all hero?  Remember the grief of his life, back to the origin of Qu Yuan!  Sanlv also still remember the doctor saying “Luan birds Feng Huang, Xi date beyond” the helpless, yet still remember Sanlv doctor and the words “black magpie songbirds, nest Church altar Xi ‘anger.He can be described as Chu north shore of the Yangtze River have lived a lifetime, to persuade his life, I hate life, admonish all his life.His steadfast in upholding, Sincere Chixin but that it would not escape the dumping of the building, a lifetime of struggle, Chu, or the death!He paid all the effort, but back to square one!Perhaps he really is a failure!But you can say, Dongting Lake Miluo River to the old man chant of “Lament”, “Heaven”, “Nine Songs”, “IX” is not eternal farewell?But you can say, long sigh, not a tear stained Sang souls of this world?  Life, career, emotional, right.A society which is not a circle?No matter what you’re standing on a circle, you can always guarantee that you will not be back to square one?Not only can not guarantee, why fear?Why wretched?Why struggling?Why indecisive?  It boldly go!Back to square one, so what?You have gone through their own way to go, you have your life the others, what is regretful, what sigh?  Back to square one, not a failure, the process, is the real success!  Hanchuang 12 years, 4380 days, too small, maybe, in this last pawn of placing orders, in this last railings across, some people will be back to square.However, we are in the process too beautiful, we had gains in learning, us, everyone is a winner!  Do not be afraid to fail, do not be afraid back to square one, boldly go!    Part Seven: back to square one, back to the beginning people at the beginning, this pure heart.Human life is from the origin, it should be at the origin, the end, has maintained the original heart.- Inscription a long time ago, there was a small village.The village was rolling hills carefully nurtured, not disturb the outside world, guarding his little tranquility.  Morning, hazy mist valley, like this woman Qing Ling veil, elegant but without losing the Taiga.That mist, floating, the dough, to lush forests and scratched.Originally serious forest could not, “Puchi -” about laughed aloud, attracted cheered countless leaves, bustling!So, have heard this from the sun, he has always been a mysterious character, a little bit of a mark from the top of the hill, excitedly watching TV drama infinite vitality.  Hamlet day started from here.  Hard-working and simple villagers began to go out work, even small children have to get up early pal around.There are two brothers, they are a little shepherd boy, holding the Mavericks to go out with them, came to the field.  Endless fields, but can not tolerate the solitude involved.Here cattle and sheep flocks, of course, accompanied by the laughter of children.A cowboy with cowboy B they have been inseparable, they are the best of brothers.During the day, they roll around in the fields, hide and seek, catch small frogs.Hot, jumping into the stream bath; thirsty, pluck a stem grass to chew up breathing, restlessness sweet factor in their tongue.They laughed as unscrupulous, smiling as the United States.Even in the rain, rain into the line, but also live around their brows.Rain lingering kiss spend their faces, but can not draw a “plain” word in their brow.A “green bamboo hat, green coir raincoat”, the “Inclined rain do not need to go,” the.  To eat dinner, since there will be pulling their way home plume of smoke.So, day labor is over.  The moon is not in a village of exquisite brooch.  Shepherd A and B shepherd them in the yard shade.They see the moon in the seedlings sway in streams beating, they hear the moon affects the insects and frogs, as fiddle strings, made into a sweet music, moonlight flowing in their veins, these are all subtle feeling in their hearts bears feel.  Night, the moon shade sieve floor spot, flicker flicker vergence phase continued; moon falling rattled in the woods, in the grass, la rushing crowded lake.  Two restless cowboy for a day, but also noisy day, quietly asleep.Land frankly worries lay down the.He fell into a deep asleep in the moonlight, fog drift across the fields that the large group large groups, that is, it is long and soothing breathing.  This is a wonderful home, but no lack of quiet anger, but without losing the connotation of honest.Simple villagers with their own hands interpretation of the meaning of life.  However, one day the shepherd boy A, B seems to be tired of this good life, they are far away from here, they are lucky enough to get out of the mountains.  A shepherd boy came to the big city, he was traveling between neon, eyes will no longer be lit up clarity.With his own efforts, little by little climb, he had a very full life, and left him feeling empty.He found the city’s air is polluted, the moon is pale, there is no village as the warm breeze, the field is not as lingering rain, and no rain clothes that give a sense of security, and little by little he grew up, but found yourself during this time and not too many memorable beautiful, but rather a child’s happy hour in sight, lingering.His heart is empty, because too many “true” have been passed, he lost himself, perhaps he should say to myself “I’m sorry” because he allowed himself too tired.So he returned to the village, back to square one!  After B shepherd left the village, he began his life.But he mixed day, one day.Has absolutely no life, unexamined spent all day, he did not find any job, but some people were attacking the organization, there is no rule.And also detained several times, and he was incorrigible, always a good pain is forgotten.Gradually, he became bloodthirsty, ruthless, cold.In a rather night, he was looking at the sky, but can not see a trace of the stars or the moon, this is the outside world that there is no “rare thing”, or is there any obscured his eyes?His mind has been answered.He told himself that the “sorry”, and he is too self-indulgent, and also lost his innocence that childhood.  So he returned to the starting point, return to the true.  Everything is gone, but everything will not last, because it has already passed bears a deep imprint in the hearts of caring people, they all will not be passed.Now is the time to return to the past.  In fact, not only is the origin of the village, just a leisurely origin of the realm, do not let yourself too tired, it will not be too self-indulgent.To maintain themselves, no matter what the place is paradise, origin!  Shepherd, B and returned to their original life, return to the true!  Is a wonderful continuation of origin where.  The origin of the dead but also the bleak existence.  Origin and return fans, away, always in an idea!    Part VIII: slowly away, back to square one awakened from a nightmare midnight, I feel like I have come a long long way, actually feeling very tired, I know, I have always been very hard to wander in a way, a road away from the entanglement of their mind,.  Birthday yesterday received the blessing of text messages, said he hoped to have friends stay with me for a lively birthday.As you wish, birthday over into the wee hours.Make a wish before blowing out the candles I want to say everything back to square one, back to two years ago.Like a rare holiday and as usual, it felt as though nothing was thought simply to cooking, laundry, clean up the house, with the kids learn.Once again you refuse to put in the busy heart outside the door, despite the struggle and frustration, but also rational constraints persevered, who feel everything further away in the wave, the heart of immense pain no longer spread , calm day with no ripples as if all of a sudden came back, I feel there is a return of calm and tranquility.  But still accustomed to the open space to see every day, you see traces, and my heart will feel very at ease.Every time that left its mark, it indicates that you are still concerned, attention is still thought, how much my heart there will be some comfort.A day still habitually look at your gray hair head stay on for a while, in fact, I know, it is because his heart is still full of expectations, looking forward to seeing you in a few words.I can understand that we are working hard to keep, keep back to their inherent lifestyle to go.Each time, rejoice and despair are intricately intertwined, so I panic to escape, return to life in orbit wife and mother, quietly cooking, laundry, helping children.  Escape in exchange for a quiet life, but can their innermost tangled again and again hand in hand in a nightmare.I know that relief requires more persistence, more time is needed, as long as your heart will slowly go away, there is always one day, we will be back to square one.