The cold wind once again attacked the town, setting off too many memories. Buttonwood leaves catch up with winter’s footsteps, leaving behind a confused figure, provoking pity. I don’t know since when, I slowly like the weather here. In every abnormal change of weather, memories are raised, which is like an agreement that was born with a label for a lifetime.. The warm and spring-like heart quietly blooms in the winter, and can feel her fragrance, which can’t be forgotten like a light one.. In the middle of the night, the yellow light shines slightly on the campus, and stars can be seen when the window is opened. The rest of the dormitory was quiet with their breathing mixed unevenly, like the sound of raindrops trickling down the roof.. The wind blows on the leaves, and the leaves and leaves dance vaguely, warming each other at night, so pure as not to allow any impurities to seep in, and at a certain moment they stand out unusually.. Turn on the desk lamp and clearly see the dust flying in the air. The air feels frozen in an instant without any cracks.. No matter how the shadow changes, my mind stops here with the air, thinking of the phone call from my mother in the afternoon, and constantly telling me that you should wear more clothes when it’s cold, don’t catch a cold again, and your body is so poor … Ah, although she was very tired of her nagging at that time, my heart was still warm and unspeakable warmth.. In an hour in the afternoon, the mobile phone was filled with more than ten text messages, full as if in a mood. Those are just words of blessing, simple greetings, but enough to warm me in this season. In the passage of time, some people always stand out in a special time. I suddenly thought of what a friend said to me. Time is a light that is getting stronger and stronger. As long as I can see a little light, I have hope.. Warm, also is so simple. Shallow breathing, light end. One breath ends and the other begins. The part of the heart that suddenly shrinks or enlarges may only be remembered in a long and long dream, warm and warm. The palm of the hand is cold, hot water is poured into the empty mineral water bottle, the hot air rises at the bottom of the bottle in an instant, and the whole bottle slowly shrinks by half, the warm distance. Everything needs a carrier. If it wasn’t for the cold wind, I couldn’t detect these warm feelings.
The afternoon sun was so warm and warm that people felt a little stuffy and stuffy, and immediately drank a cup of cold boiled water. When the cold water entered the body, they felt so fresh and fresh. After the skin was soaked with water, they also became moist, slippery and damp, a kind of comfort that people could not say.! I looked at myself at this time, wearing a small unlined shirt with black and white stripes and lace trim at the neckline and hem, a silver-gray dress, and a pair of light blue slippers at the foot. In this empty room, I could listen to a favorite song and dance with its beautiful melody, and the skirt formed a big circle in the slow rotation, as if I were in the center of the earth. The long hair also rotated with the body, and a breeze swept across my cheek at the moment of rotation. I took a deep breath, so fresh and fresh.. It was during the warm and cold season of spring that they shook their tender branches to show people the coming of another year’s spring. The little green color made people feel life and vitality. When the river gradually became civilized, the farmers wore thick winter clothes, came to the fields and carefully cultivated their fields, and then carefully waited on their fields like baby – sitting. The pickaxe and hoe contained their deep attachment to the earth, gradually sprouts sprang up with spring breeze, soaked in the moisture of rain, and the crops grew even more gratifying.. Summer arrived in their hope. Look at the boundless fields, the wheat billowing, the fertile fields thousands of miles away, the fragrant rice flowers, July and August are the season when rice spikes fall, the green rice fields and the fragrant rice that cannot be hid. You can feel deeply soaked in the insides with a deep breath. No one can describe the rare moisture in words, because after that season, farmers all put on their favorite clothes, dressed themselves beautifully and went out to visit relatives and friends, and some young people like to travel.? You’re not going to lose it, are you? I’ll tell you with a smile that they are modern farmers who not only grow fields but also do business. Some active farmers go to work in the city during their leisure hours. Some of them can work as carpenters, some can work as bricklayers and some can repair various kinds of vehicles. It is their arrival that complements the shortage of labor force for these jobs in the city. The city’s bosses also like these simple migrant workers very much, because many of them are short-time workers and their wages and benefits are almost enough. Therefore, the bosses can reap more profits from their efforts. As for those farmers who know how to do business at ordinary times, some of them are family members.. Their children also came to schools in the city early to receive the best education. When autumn comes, the thousands of miles of plain is a piece of golden yellow. The heavy ears of rice, rice and beans exude another kind of ripe aroma, which makes people see in their eyes and delight in their hearts. At this moment, farmers no longer stay in bed and are busy in the fields at three or four o’clock in the morning. Perhaps you will ask to cut rice so early.? Or cut corn? In fact, there is only one harvester in the field. Some family members and friends are busy tying bags, some are busy loading cars, and rice in the field can be harvested in a day’s time. It seems mechanization has brought real benefits to farmers.. Unconsciously snow in winter is like a naughty child who quietly comes and scatters silvery white on the earth. Children are the happiest when they run to the open space to fight snow battles. Some children even stretch out two small hands and then watch the snowflakes slowly melt in their hands. Some children stretch out their small mouths and then snowflakes to taste what snowflakes are like. After tasting, they say, ” Why are they not sweet?”? Silly child. If all of them are sweet, you naughty little ones are not sweet enough to hurt your teeth? Ha ha, this is the children. I also had a childhood and experienced a young childhood like them, but now I think of it as a distant thing for me, as if I had gone through a process from ancient times to the present, so long and really incredible. I was so calm in the face of the complicated society at this time, perhaps I had never had any extravagant ideas and lived a life of nine to five, with family companionship, my own career, and occasionally went to the market to buy food after work every day. It is not too much to do a few things at home.. In a word, the morning mist, the neon lights at night, and the weaving of people and traffic are so common to me. I often think that everyone wants their life to be colored, and the background color of this color is authentic. We walk in the world for a time, and dust will return to dust and soil at the end. Then we can find our true self. Home is the warmest harbor when we are tired. Family is our forever company. Remember that no matter how far you go, your family is your forever hanging lead.!
The spacious and straight cement street was built when the village was connected. It was a few years ago, when no one would believe that the village would disappear slowly and raise funds to build the cement street.. The narrow hutongs left traces of the village before repairing the water and mud roads. The poplar trees lined the streets rustled with the wind, gray walls and red tiles on the houses were located in orderly courtyards.. This is my village. I was born in this village and graduated from primary school to middle school. I never left the village. The village is lively in my memory.. Winter is the most carefree day of the year. When the sun comes out, the men, women and children in the village come out to bask in the sun. After lunch, I walked out of the house and chatted in groups. Women don’t have leisure in their hands, some have sole, some knit sweaters, chatter and chat, and work in their hands is not stopped. The topic of women is nothing more than who does delicate sewing, who weaves sweaters with beautiful designs and novel designs, and sometimes they say who adds a new dress.. The men brought their children together to talk about the eastern parents, the western family’s short harvest, Kan Kan’s one-year harvest, the changes of each family, and who has a daughter-in-law for the boy and a husband’s family for the girl.. Or talk about how to celebrate the New Year. What kind of new year goods do you do. The quietest ones are the old people, sitting next to a warm haystack or against a wall, narrowing their eyes and pulling up two sentences one after the other to show off their past and look forward to the future.. The happiest thing is that those children who are at home on Sunday play and play together, or gather around adults to listen to adults or let adults tell stories to them.. The glory of the past is no longer today. There were 1,000 people in the village. Now there are not a quarter of the people living in the village. Young people have gone to work in the city.. They settled in different cities, their children went to school in the city, and they didn’t come back to be reunited until the New Year holidays. The middle-aged and elderly people living in the village, who work at sunrise and rest at sunset, grow their own acres of land. Solve your life. They have cultivated the land which has never been deserted. Now, it is winter again, the village has become deserted without the lively atmosphere of the past.. Maybe, when they can’t farm, they will go to different cities to join their children. The excitement and laughter of the past seem to exist only in my memory. Maybe I have forgotten the laughter of the past, and maybe I will never have it again! A few years later, with the process of urbanization, the village will slowly disappear. Every time I stand at the entrance of the village and look at the distance, the unspeakable melancholy spreads in my heart, for the distant relatives, for the village that has gone into the sun, for this village that has slowly disappeared. I feel very deeply. No one can stop the process of urbanization. The only thing that slowly disappeared was my village.
I am not mo wake up, nor is su nianhan, no one will be my salvation, and no one can be my doom. – Wedges I stood wandering on the road, blazing sunshine grilling the earth, and a slight smoke on the asphalt pavement.. I stood on it barefoot. Its temperature quickly spread to my whole body. At that time, I remember someone once said to me, ” I am your rice sand.”. It was a little full of sadness, and the weather was still a little cool, but sometimes hot air blew in, causing a crisp itch in the ears.. At that time, the electric fan was always spinning with a shout, causing a sharp pain in the eyes. I always stand in the dark corner and watch those arrogant people proclaim their happiness loudly. I heard their laughing voices trembling in the air, and those voices kept hitting my face with the hot wind, cooling half of my fantasy. I’m like don’t wake up, a person hiding in a corner complaining about himself, seems to see through everything in the world, a person living quietly and haughtily. On that night, when I heard me crying, the only one who comforted me said to me, ” I am your rice sand.”. At that time, the moon was far away and big. The sky was dark with no stars. Only a large cool breeze blew on my face, cool and cold, and then wet, falling on my lips and flowing into my mouth to be salty.. In the hourglass regulations, Misha is Mo’s best friend. As far as I am concerned, rice sand is a stabilizer when Mo wakes up and flushes. They are all children played tricks on by time. I seem to see the black sky in the distance torn by a tear, and a few tiny white lights are leaking out slowly and continuously from the inside.. They spread rapidly, from that opening to the whole sky, and the whole world began to shine and dazzle me.. This is clearly a strange world with breathtaking beauty and stunning beauty.. I began to publicize my happiness without restraint, and I began to ignore the surprised eyes of the people around me and constantly exaggerate the root cause of all my happiness worth my while.. Was I too naive or too stupid, was I too stupid or too stupid at that time?. I even stood in front of her with self-mockery and repeated his kindness to me loudly and continuously.. At that time, I ignored her gradually cooling eyes. I attach importance to repeating a dream. I always dream that I am standing under a buttonwood tree with a white scarf. The leaves on the tree are turning from green to yellow gradually.. They are constantly swaying in the wind, they are shaking and falling, but they are caught in the footsteps of the branches and cannot dance in the wind.. The wind hit it. The voice of’ Hua Hua Hua’ constantly haunts my ears from light to heavy, from heavy to light. Constantly fade in and fade out. I sat on the bench under the tree, and the fading light gradually lost its original glow in the distance.. Suddenly all went out. I saw a dim figure in the distance by moonlight. He came to me, but suddenly turned away. The heavy pace of’ dadada’ gradually disappeared. I always wake up in panic in the middle of the night. There was only darkness around and I was the only one with heavy breathing. I walked out of bed and drank the hot water in the cup, cup after cup, never tire until the water in the cup began to cool down. I began to wake up, then leaned against the head of a bed until I fell asleep. I was wrong after all, but I still couldn’t beat fate.. Division has become my reason for complaining about the weather. I stood in the corridor on the second floor and looked at the 3322 crowd downstairs. I sighed and self-mocked my sadness.. God always pulls you to the edge of pain when you fall into a happy mood. I have no courage to tell myself that distance is not a problem. My fear always fades in my mind at some time. This is my greatest skill – moaning without illness and feeling sentimental. Strangeness is a word that I dare not face again in my life. He is my sensitive source. Even if you don’t touch it. He is also like a brand, engraved on the bottom of my heart, can’t forget it. Please forgive me for having to choose to give up. Because in this world, in the eyes of others, I am a monster, only suitable for a person to live humbly and only know the ability to cherish his sadness..Then one day, when I really die of happiness, others will start pointing at me and mocking, ” You see, she doesn’t like loneliness, doesn’t she like sadness?”? Now, this is the price of self – righteousness. At that time, I became the representative of those who have nothing and the model of strangers. I still remember that cool night, those heavy words were vaguely engraved on my heart. I want to wait until I am old, I will still sit in my garden, and a person will indulge in these memories printed in my heart, and occasionally the wind will blow on my face, just like the night that gave me hope.. Chuci said: The greatest pain in life is to be separated from one’s beloved life, and the greatest joy in life is to have a new confidant.. As far as I am concerned, this is indeed the greatest pain in life. If I hadn’t been so stubborn, would we end differently! If the time was different, could we not! A man once said to me, ” I am your rice sand.”. There was a moment when I admitted that I smiled and tears fell out of my laughter.! I would like to pay tribute to those beautiful memories and rice sands that once ceased to exist and are now truly engraved in my mind.!
The dark wounds of the years are always hidden deep in the heart. Sometimes, they are really hard to detect. Only when you dig deep into your memory in extreme silence can you see a thing or two and know the sad past it contains.. Perhaps everyone in the world has hidden one or several hidden wounds in his heart, but he doesn’t want to show them easily, even himself, or is an unspeakable pain.. All we can do is to escape for a while in order to keep ourselves safe and secure and to tie up our bodies and minds.. The years I can remember are fifteen or six spring and autumn, but this is a painful memory that I can’t forget that permeates with blood smell in the air. How much love and hate and how much blood and tears are carried in this memory, besides those who have already left the world and experienced hardships but still exist in the present, I’m afraid only a few careful people can count the past after tea and meal and recall the sad past with helpless emotions.. As a witness to this long life of joy and sorrow, I also play a part in their life, so no matter how humble my status as a whole can be ignored and forgotten.. So, in my weak crown age, I was quietly on my way with a state of mind that could not be ignored, intending to silently pour out this sad memory of the past. I haven’t tried to dig my memory from the depths before. There are probably many reasons for this. Many times I think I belong to the kind of person whose heart is not firm, and the words like this that constantly belittle my ability always appear in my mind when my heart is dispirited and my body and mind are exhausted. The appearance of it does make my whole person look unreal. Sometimes I really want to lower myself into the dust, and I’d better not see the light forever. Otherwise, I don’t know who will stab me again, and I won’t be able to ease my mind for a while.. However, people all understand that everything has its unknown dual nature, which generally does not appear in front of people at the same time. Its unique magic sexual intercourse pays human beings like the chronic nature of time. It always breaks out inadvertently on your way forward, leaving people unable to cope at once.. However, behind such things, it calls for the simple truth of the world with the dribs and drabs of things that happen in our lives. While we are still in our mood, we may look like eating chili peppers when we slowly salvage the fallen leaves engraved with intangible memories from the heart lake for study.. As for how I understand my own life, to be honest, I don’t know much about it. When I read a favorite book carefully, I think I have a sense of existence. At that moment, I thought time was like going back in time, so that I, a lowly fallen laggard, could taste the fruits of other people’s lives, which are thousands of different from my way of life.. In such a mixed reality and romantic life, I began to give birth to some of my own ideas for no reason – writing about my life world. I think that reading other people’s books is to increase self-restraint in life, improve one’s moral quality and increase one’s aesthetic standards.. The difference between writing one’s own book and writing one’s own is great. It contains all sorts of unknown requirements for one’s own, and not everyone can write works that make everyone nod when they bring up a pen. People like Lu Xun, Ba Jin and Yu Qiuyu have all been baptized with much ink before they have developed their skills that are now praised by the world.. So I like to look up at the sky alone all day staring blankly at different numbers, fantasizing about writing an amazing article, and only feeding myself with ink and words all the time.. The fireworks in memory are sometimes gorgeous because they are different and unique. Some people say that fireworks are cold and mournful, because they only bloom in the night. Others say that fireworks are beautiful women in the world because they can awaken people’s hearts of compassion and love for all dust.. In the fifteen or six bloody years I have experienced, I have also watched its beautiful or mournful appearance in the starry night sky, but in my memory world, fireworks are high and cold, making me elusive and full of mysterious things.. My attitude towards it is like Zhou Dunyi’s praise of lotus flowers – only a distant view is not to be mocked. Therefore, such alienation has given me a quiet and quiet life personality, more part of which can also be said to be cowardice that I have no courage to face with strong forces.. I can’t completely deny that I belittle people’s words, because when my dear people are oppressed by blood, I am helpless and do not take necessary actions to protect others with my own strength.. This has to be said that my character is not as good as expected. The gorgeous peach blossom in the world always blooms in the warm and pleasant spring with all its strength, while the peach blossom in the high and cold sunshine in winter seems to lack some warm temperament, making people feel lonely and cold, just like some old photos hidden in a drawer or paper box far away from people suddenly found, suddenly pouring a pot of cold water on people’s originally dead heart, which has frozen the whole body completely.. And this peach blossom of mine not only blooms in winter, but also is stained with the color of blood and has been accompanying me for fifteen or six unforgettable years.. Now, while I appreciate peach blossoms, I only sigh with the ruthlessness of the years..
In the first ten days of August, I wrote an irrigation post to participate in the dragon – receiving game regulations and posted it on Kaidi, Zhejiang and Zhongzhi websites. This is a pure entertainment version of the word game irrigation post, without touching the sensitive content of political views at all. Considering that the premise of this character – linked game is happiness, happiness, relaxation of mood and pleasure of body and mind, I relaxed the requirement of the character – linked game so long as the last character can be linked to the previous character, even if it is different in pronunciation and character, it conforms to the rules of the game and is not subject to the restrictions of idioms, even the words of four Chinese characters conform to the rules of the game.. My original irrigation post is naturally carried out according to my personal wishes. It’s not surprising that five-hair molecules in Kaidi’s website are common to stir up posts.. However, for this pure entertainment version of the irrigation game post, five hair molecules did not come to stir up the post. Only the popularity of participating in the entertainment post is not high. After a few days, the post will naturally sink to the bottom of the sea. Surprisingly, I met a self-righteous’ intellectual’ person in Zhejiang HowNet, jumped into my game and started to fight with me with great fanfare, making offensive remarks, vicious invective, personal attacks, criticizing and interfering with the dragon – joining game. It was not like a’ intellectual’ saying from a university campus at all.. His performance is better than the poor performance of the low-level wumao, and his image is disgusting and despicable. In order not to cause trouble and stir up trouble in this post, let the pure happy entertainment post suffer the bad luck of going against its path, happiness becomes angry and relaxation becomes tense.. So the editor, with my approval, deleted the post and did not appear any more, lest someone should always have a bad heart and play tricks of fighting and pressing people. In CNKI, it makes me feel at home. After this post was released on CNKI, I was extremely happy and happy, because the release of this post has achieved the purpose and effect I expected to be relaxed and happy.. Not only did no one stir up the posts, but they also received active attention, active participation and strong support from China Knowledge Network Super Moderator Long Xing Tianxia, Moderator Shepherd Girl, and other netizens such as Life’s Five Flavors, Old Well 1, Gun God, Zhiluo Laozhao, Embracing Happiness, etc.. Until today, this entertainment version of the game post is still showing the momentum of enthusiasm, with people showing their talents and connecting high-level words every day.. This makes me heartily happy. The participation and support of my friends are the greatest encouragement and help to me and make me feel the joy of living in this atmosphere.. The text docking of netizens is so wonderful that they are dazzled and dazzled.. They are quick in thinking, brilliant in writing and impressive in writing. In the positive atmosphere of China Knowledge Net, I feel a fresh mood of warmth, friendship and heart-width and body – peace. The words written in this atmosphere are the process of enjoying life and the environment. People who deal with words don’t want to be disturbed by the attacks and invective that are filled with smoke. We want a quiet life, a healthy and happy life and a good and upward life.. I feel this kind of atmosphere is a kind of sunshine writing environment with pleasant spirit and pleasant facial expression, dealing with words, and this kind of atmosphere like CNKI is recognized and welcomed by us..
Cherish the spring often afraid of early spring, what’s more, countless red. In late spring, I accompanied my sister to do hair and look at the two similar faces and eyebrow eyes in the mirror, but one is still young and the other eye is full of ripples that have blown over the years.. It feels as if the trance is still a young and mature one. How can be time sneak attack, changed shape? Vaguely remember – when I was a child, I always followed my sister like a small tail, and a face of adoration kept asking questions.. At that time, my sister was not only the embodiment of beauty but also a synonym for wisdom in my eyes.. Remember when my sister got married, I hid behind the door admiringly to see her rosy face full of happiness, then took my mother’s hand and asked when I could grow into a sister! Now, I have grown up, but my sister is getting older. She was once omniscient and often needed me to help her decide. I love to talk about all kinds of troubles in my life. Unconsciously, we seem to have changed places. More often, I would like to stand in front of her and hold up a sky.. Whenever this happens, I feel happy and sad in my heart. Happiness can share her sorrow. Sad time’s heartless, beauty is easy to die. The years are in a hurry, and when we look old, we have only sighs in addition to laments.. How long can I stay young in the mirror? It’s always the enemy’s sword of time, but it can’t make people old.. Only hope, at the most beautiful moment, some people cherish it and others appreciate it, and finally they haven’t missed the beauty of this blooming season.. If there is no one to admire the flowers, they should also be swaying, leaving fragrance curled up and blossom into a beautiful beauty.. Finally changed a fresh hairstyle, sister suddenly looked much younger. Holding up her sister, she walked out and bought a beautiful dress to help her recover her lost youth in her confidence..
Although my grandmother gave me only ten years of kinship in my life, she gave me fresh and lasting memories. Grandma added a beautiful color to my childhood and made my young heart feel infinite warmth. I remember grandma often wearing a black old coat with a big pocket sewn in it. As long as grandma’s hand reaches into the pocket, I feel happy waving to me again.! Because grandma’s pocket was filled with some fruit candy and pumpkin seeds that her mother and aunt showed filial respect to her, grandma could not bear to eat them, and almost all of them were eaten by me and my brother.. For me, who is young and hungry, that ordinary pocket is really a happy gourd. For this reason, I often stare at grandma’s hand. Although grandma loves her brother most on weekdays, it may have something to do with her elder brother being the boss, perhaps because her elder brother will coax her old man’s house to be happy. In short, grandma always prefers her brother and wants to give him more food. Since I was a child, I always find little tricks secretly played by grandma and her brother, and always appear in front of them at the first time. grandma was embarrassed and had to give me some delicious food originally reserved for her brother.. After my brother left as a soldier, I was the only one to have my grandma’s baby pocket. Every night when I go to bed, I always like to sit on the kang with grandma. Grandma always rubs her back with a corncob. When there is no place to rub it, I will put my small hand in and tickle her. Maybe it’s the reason why she is too old. Every time I tickle her, I will always leave white dander in my nails.. Granny, who is extremely comfortable, will always give me a few candies from that treasure bag. Grandma’s pocket sweet my childhood, full of the best memories of my childhood. In fact, grandma’s pocket is full of her life, bad karma’s toiling life. I know very little about grandma’s life. I only remember grandma wrapped in her feet and thought she was a rich girl and condescended to marry us in the lee family.. As for whether this is the case, I didn’t ask grandma, nor did my father say that I didn’t know grandma’s life until I grew up. Granny was originally born in a poor wang xing family in the village. Granny was born in troubled times, in the wind, in the rain, and has experienced many vicissitudes of life. During the Anti – Japanese War, our hometown was occupied area, and small devils often went to the countryside to harass people and plunder people’s wealth.. When I was a child, I often asked grandma if she had seen Japanese soldiers, and grandma would angrily say, ” Why not?”? Devils are small, wearing heavy big leather shoes, and have a black and calm mournful face and don’t talk at all.. When grandma married grandpa, her family was destitute, and they were toiling hard to hope to raise children hand in hand, the blind god somehow took away my capable, respected and hopeful grandpa, leaving only four sons and one daughter to the widowed grandma.! Grandma had to pull the young child alone and live a miserable life. In order to survive, she ate up all the hardships and suffered all the sins. I worked as a short-term worker for the landlord’s family and sewed and washed clothes for the neighbor’s family.. My uncle, father and aunt, instead of starving to death and freezing to death, purchased several acres of farmland before liberation and gained a firm foothold in the village under her hard work.. When I was six or seven years old, grandma was already an ancient person. At that time, the parents worked in the production team all day long, and grandma took on all the housework. Her little feet kept wriggling and wriggling, washing clothes and cooking for the whole family, and feeding pigs, sheep and chickens.. The industrious grandmother continued to work until the last moment of her life. The miserable life not only created grandma’s strong character, but also filled grandma’s pocket with kindness. In the sixties and seventies of the last century, there were often people from Henan and Hebei who fled to our village to beg. Grandma always pulls beggars aside, quietly gives them something to comfort them. Granny still treats foreigners like this, and she is even more responsive to her neighbors and neighbors. Due to her good mind and willingness to help others, grandma’s reputation in the village has always been very high. No matter where she goes, she keeps saying hello.. Grandma has always been in good health. I thought she would live a long life. Who wants to leave us in a hurry one day after her brother joined the army?. At that time, I was still young. I don’t know why grandma suddenly fell ill. Now that I think about it, grandma is already very old, and she misses her brother so much that she becomes ill.. Remember that day of that year, grandma seemed to have sensed the ghost and knew she was leaving.. After getting up, I only asked my mother when she would come back and lay in bed without food until dusk. She died at the age of 88.. Grandma walked so calmly and peacefully, as if she had just rested comfortably after a day’s work yesterday, her deep belly breathing slightly stirred her toothless lips and slowly quietly fell into the most beautiful dreamland of life.. Granny suffered hardships all her life. She was kind to others and died well. Let’s be the younger generation and feel a little comfort in grief.. Grandma died nearly 45 years ago. Although she had already turned into clouds in the sky, many memories are still as clear as yesterday in my memory.. Granny’s old age is just my childhood period. Because of grandma’s love, my gray childhood of hunger and suffering has some bright colors. Because these bitter memories are mixed with some sweetness, I will never forget them.. Grandma, who runs through the river of my memory, is a person worthy of my eternal admiration!
After a few swift and violent rainstorms, the sky in the city became dim. Perhaps because of the influence of climate, my mood also became gloomy and thoughtful. On such a rare cool summer day, I seem to have entered a long lane with deep and endless memories. Walking is like inadvertently meeting my daughter, who has been missing for many years.. As I said, one kind of search is an imaginary search, and another kind of imagination is an imaginary search. Like my only biological daughter, since the bleak autumn when I was four years old, I have rarely seen her face as beautiful as flowers and pure as a flower. occasionally, I have received phone calls from my daughter to express sadness and sorrow. I am always deeply touched by a sudden dream, like a windy winter day whistling through my sad mind.. My memory of my daughter seems to have been fixed before she was four years old, but I don’t like it. In many lonely and hard-to-reunite days, I am used to searching for my only daughter in the depths of my memory. I like to depict my daughter’s colorful growth in the ethereal imagination. In this way, all the past days will no longer be lonely, so all the memories about the daughter will not wither and bitter.. I believe that my happiness is not exhausted, and all parents in the world can understand or accept it. But any imagination is not unfounded, so the short and wonderful four years with my daughter are destined to be the most beautiful and precious part of my memory.. My memory often starts with a Mercedes – Benz train, which was the spring of pink and willow green many years ago. I made a special trip from Urumqi to the south of the Yangtze River, where the smoke and rain are boundless.. Because my daughter is about to be born, because this young and pure little life is about to put my father’s solemn and great crown on my head.. I remember when I visited this picturesque town, the southern sky was falling with lyrical and continuous spring rains. This bright and cool spring rain is just like my excited and joyful mood. On the long and weary journey, I have conceived again and again the petite appearance of my daughter as pure as fresh water before birth.. Although I racked my brains, the appearance of my daughter at birth was beyond my expectation. It was a gentle evening of spring rain, and my expected daughter finally came into the world and opened my eyes with great surprise.. Looking at my daughter’s chubby pink face, my heart is intoxicated in this boundless and charming spring scenery. What I want to say most is that I was born an inexperienced daughter who led me to a feast of life or a splendid palace full of happiness and happiness.. I know that from now on, the continuous memory buried deep in my veins will not be interrupted silently by the passage of time. Because it is the lovely daughter who seems to be young, illuminating the sky of my soul and my previous journey. I think it must be so. In the fragile marriage castle, I don’t want to say who is right or who is wrong. If I have to say something, the wrong party can only be myself. For a long time, what I want to say to my daughter most is: I’m sorry to my dear daughter, but it was dad who chose this erratic marriage of separation between the two places that created today’s separation, defect and misfortune.. I don’t want to say to my growing daughter that the biggest drawback and misfortune will be borne by her father who is desperate to wear a serious illness for the rest of his life.. I want to say that at the moment when the mirror of marriage broke into pieces in an uproar, my heart was completely broken, and my endless bitterness, pain and yearning will begin.. If you know what a dull pain is, you will know the piercing pain or unutterable sadness that you want to cry when you are away from your own flesh and blood.. How many days or nights have I been listening to my daughter’s quietly growing steps and the pure and shy bloom of a spring flower. Such a day is lonely and lonely, but it does not lack warmth and obsession. This is an awakening father, this is a father who constantly atones for sin or repents, this is a father who constantly cries out in the abyss of suffering, this is a father who persistently seeks the fragrance of spring flowers in the deep wounds.. There are many times when I like to appear in the street shaking heavy wheelchairs, in the torrent of noisy world or in the sunlight.. I long for a beautifully dressed and innocent little girl passing by me to run to me and shout loudly to my father with joy … but such a miracle did not happen in my hope.. I seem to stand blankly on the wasteland of the city or on the desert of emotion. I am very sad that I am very fragile, so deep-rooted thoughts make me almost burn both physically and mentally.. In the same persistent way, I silently appeared at the door of the primary or secondary school where my daughter was studying.. I’m looking forward to the ringing of the bell after school. I’m looking forward to a girl and boy in school uniform rushing through the school gate. A girl as sweet as sunshine came to me in surprise … but such a miracle did not happen either.. I stared at the crowd in front of me with moist hazy eyes, and I am sure my heart is submerged in this turbulent and noisy crowd at the moment.. However, I can no longer identify who is my daughter, and I can no longer accurately outline her growing face or scenery. Aware of this, I was sitting in a wheelchair in front of the school and felt very dizzy. My head seemed to be buzzing with countless flies.. I don’t know how sad I am, shaking my wheelchair to find my home. I don’t know. What I know is that there is a separation in the world that can make a flesh-and-blood body die or be born again.. When my daughter, who was admitted to Peking University, asked me in a sob voice in her long speech why you divorced at the beginning, I was speechless and my tears streamed down my face.. I want to say, my child, have you had a good time all these years? I want to say that although I didn’t hear the sound of a flower opening, I can hear the sound of a flower opening gracefully with rich imagination. I want to say that dad is sorry for you . but I squirmed my lips and couldn’t say anything. I just want to weave the most beautiful and deep wreath in the adult world with those silent burning thoughts or hidden pains and quietly place it in the warm candle flickering on my daughter’s birthday . the 1950 word westerly wind was written on her daughter’s birthday on April 16, 2008.
When I mention the word’ father’, such a picture will appear in my mind. In the vast field, father’s left hand plowed and his right hand raised a long bullwhip, swinging a crisp sound from time to time in a graceful arc. With the noise, the hard and solid land will be ploughed one by one, and the land will be completely tender and soft, like stepping on a carpet.. The healthy cow trained by her father to understand’ command’ is as obedient as a loyal soldier. Although she walked slowly, she was full of vigor. Her father, with a happy smile on her face, formed a poetic farming map in the sunset. Every time she went home to meet her father, I would stop at a distance and appreciate the moving scenery in a debt of gratitude.. Today, such scenery has become a passing smoke cloud, which is rare even in remote rural areas.. Therefore, every time I go back to my hometown, my father will talk to me about ploughing the land, and often at this moment, his seemingly calm eyes will immediately become bright and bright.. Talking about this matter, my father was like telling a feat, or the most brilliant experience in his life, very comfortable, and then, like drinking a cup of strong wine that has existed for many years, the whole people were drunk, even I, the observer, seemed to follow into that special era.. Appreciating the smile on my father’s face bursting with satisfaction and stroking the thick veins of veins stood out made by years, my heart became particularly heavy. For so many years, my father has lived in obscurity, working at sunrise and resting at sunset … Ah, think about it, we owe him too much as children.. After enjoying the joy of the one-act play, I also grew up slowly, and then grew up slowly. In an instant, I also became a father.. As the saying goes, only when you are in charge can you know how expensive firewood and rice are, and only when you have a son can you know how hard your mother is.. Accompanied by the crystallization of love, education for children also came along with children’s cries.. The daughter was born a boy, not restrained, with a loud voice and a very naughty voice.. In kindergarten, when the teacher was writing on the blackboard, the little guy either took the children out of the classroom secretly or went down to the table to play toys alone. The teacher said softly, she didn’t listen and criticized a few words. She grabbed the bag and said she would go home.. Or climb up and drill through the air, make some dangerous actions, make the teachers nervous, regard her as a’ living treasure’ general key guardianship, for fear that something will go wrong as soon as they leave the line of sight.. As a result, parents became ” scapegoats” and were invited to ” classes” from time to time by teachers, to repeat such words, the child was daring and could not be educated, and so on. The child’s temperament is very clear to my wife and I, and for this reason, I also beat her several times with my face, but after a few days, it still remains the same.. So three transgressions, again good temper will also be angered. Without me, even a wife who has always been gentle has become my ” eye – catching” and ” eye – catching”. Love to see the daughter who participated in the Water Margin Regulations, in private, simply used the nickname ” Break Fire Qin Ming” on her. In the child’s voice of ha ha, she seemed to dismiss her wife’s ” admonition.”. Fortunately, because of my work, I don’t often stay at home, and I can’t see the net.. My wife worries a lot and always complains about it when she comes home. Because they have been together for a long time, the child slowly finds out the habits of her wife and scolds her every time. Her wife has just said the first half sentence. She will say the next sentence you want to open your mouth for you, making you smile hard.. Sometimes I also play some small tricks: ” Mom and Dad asked you to take me to the park this Sunday.”. Then, he quietly fell on his mother’s ear and said, ” mom, dad said he would go to the park this Sunday.”. ‘ On one occasion, my wife and I quarreled over the lock of our lives, and she shouted ” Stop.”! You two are still not good friends? I found out that father is better to his mother, and mother is not doing well, while mother is better to his father, and father is not doing well.. ‘ A” Battle” and’ Fighting’ so let her get yellow. Similar examples abound. For this reason, my father said less than 100 times that this is a ” son of a bitch.”. Although he said so, his father still liked her very much from the heart. Every time I go back to my hometown to visit my father, I dream. I often wake up from my dream in the middle of the night, get up clothed and stare at my father’s picture. I always wonder, is this the tall and burly father of the past? However, reality has forced me to admit the cruel fact that my father is lame! Father is old! Father was strong in physique when he was young. Listen to grandma said, once, the father of village soldier company commander led murakami men, women and children to dig the jiaolai river. At that time, there were many village people together, and everyone was unwilling to lag behind.. My father, who was strong and strong, stole the show on the’ battle’ field and left a deep impression on many people in other villages.. Up to now, from time to time, people have come to talk to their father, looking for bits and pieces of that era. Often when the chatterboxes were opened, they were out of control, spitting and laughing, and smoking everywhere. Someone shouted for dinner at the door and had to stop in the reluctant to part.. I remember one time, my father led us to plant willow and poplar berms on the repaired Jiaolai river bank.. When carrying water for watering trees, my father carried a bucket in addition to two buckets of water. He happened to meet commune cadres to check the construction situation. He saw his father walking along the road without shaking his feet, carrying three buckets of water, immediately stopped and said, ” You are a half – labourer”. From then on, ” half – labourer” was called out by everyone.. Since then, whenever there are large-scale construction tasks, father has taken the lead in the war. If father is absent for a while, commune cadres will ask ” half – labor”? That’s the nickname that inspires the young father. In what era was he simply saved his life. Father’s leg began to limp from the year of the flower nail: it was difficult to walk, and it swelled as soon as he walked more than once.. Later, the bone was in the wrong position, and he limped even more.. Despite spending a lot of money and many years of treatment, it still doesn’t work. The doctor said that this was a root planted in youth that could not be cured, but was resisted by taking medicine. My family and I both think that the disease was caused by the people who led the village to dig the river, and many villagers said the same thing..I also asked my father, but he always said that I had no choice as a communist party member and he never regretted it.. Father is telling the truth. My great grandfather was a ” miser”, but his family was solid. According to the old generation, my old grandfather hired a short-term worker when he was busy farming, and all the people who walked to the market with their hands on a row and a half streets came to work, because fame was not afraid of not paying wages.. Great – grandfather’s family, can be said to be mules and horses, cattle and sheep full circle, at that time was a great ” big rich man”. But such a rich man is a miser. People call him ” poor calculation” in private.. His family law is very strict. He has to have a look at what he eats at every meal. He can never let a person eat and starve to death.. However, the good times were not long. Soon, the Home Returning Corps came, and the great grandfather was turned into a landlord, and all his possessions were confiscated. In this way, he praised the old grandfather for his life’s possessions. He became a pauper, and soon the old grandfather died.. Because of this, my father did not know how many times he had stood the test when he joined the Party.. So father, who has struggled to step into the party’s door, cherishes this title very much, which may also be one reason why he is willing to do his best when working? Fortunately, my father is still a very optimistic person. At least he has always been strong in front of us. Just like when I was a soldier, my father sent me to the leader’s hand by himself, saying only, ” Do well in the army and don’t be returned.”. ‘ just don’t look back to go. At that time, my mood was very depressed. I watched other parents, relatives and friends around talking and laughing while I was alone. I could not help but shed tears and even hate my father.. My mother was supposed to send me, but my father did not let my mother come, saying that when a boy grows up, he will learn such big words as independence.. In this way, more than ten years ago, I envied somebody else and hated my father for stepping on the journey of becoming a soldier, and the feeling of home was also disappearing day by day. My comrades Xinbing even cried and homesick. I didn’t even have that idea. Therefore, the ” careless” Xinbing monitor also set me up as an example. The rising warmth for home began one month after the next. Mother told me: Your father was afraid that his son would be sent back in the army if he couldn’t stand it! At that time, the son of a branch secretary in a neighboring village was returned because he could not eat in the army, and his father could not lift his head when he saw people.. Therefore, a father with a low culture can only cut off his son’s attachment to his family in this way. My mother also said that during the Spring Festival, my father, a strong man, secretly cried and even filled a bowl of dumplings on the table during the reunion dinner … In June 2000, I was ordered to go to Fujian Channel Station for an internship.. Shortly thereafter, the medical report of the mother’s terminal cancer was presented to her father.. In order to reassure me of my studies, my father kept the news from me until my mother died. I didn’t even see my mother’s face, which became my regret for the rest of my life. I resent my father a little, but I understand that his father, as an old party member, has his own unique views on some matters, although sometimes he is not understood. Sure enough, my idea was confirmed. Once I went home, I saw my father studying the ” Three Represents” theoretical study book. His father studied very seriously, not only writing circles in the book, but also making reading notes.. In my notebook, I found my father’s ” secret”. Under the persuasion of neighbors, father went superstitious for his mother for the only time, but he didn’t ” beg” for her life.. My father has been deeply regretful about this matter, and he wrote: knowing the laws of nature of life, death and illness, I, an old party member, would also ” stumble” in this respect, which is blasphemy to the party. I really can’t forgive myself.. Pen emotional surge, father’s dribs and drabs in the mind. Think carefully, how many feelings in life should be brought by the father, and how much to be loved is the father’s love? Father’s love is deep! Leisurely, a poem emerged in my mind . Ah, father is a boat? Carrying our harmony, warmth and dreams? In the midst of the storm? One oar and one oar shake away the difficulties of the years? When the boat was worn out? We sailed into the sheltered harbor? Father is a history? Wrinkles engraved with humiliation also have brilliant? White hair is sweet as well as hard? Hands full of calluses? What holds up is a brilliant tomorrow, and we grow up? Father is old? . Ah Tong Lian: Liu Yudong, Secrets Department, Municipal Construction Bureau, 251 Dongfeng East Street, Weifang 261031